FEAR OF THE FEMININE
Women are afraid of embracing it, and men are afraid of letting it show… The Feminine. This resistance is something that is all too common, for so many people. But why?
The Divine Feminine has been lost – and as a result the Feminine energy has also been pushed aside and covered with a veil of negativity. The Divine Feminine is the Goddess, Mother Nature, Giver of Life – the Earth herself. But why is it so problematic when the Divine Feminine is abandoned?
Let’s start at the beginning: For the vast majority of women, we spend most of our adult lives hating the fact that we are women – we hate that we get a period, we detest our mood swings, we are petrified of pregnancy and birth, we loathe the idea of menopause, we can’t think of anything worse than getting old and wrinkly and fat… We have forgotten what it truly means to be in our Feminine, which although intertwined, is not necessarily the same as being a woman. Men feel this too – where they are discouraged time and time again to hide any stirrings of the Feminine and Feminine qualities.
But the Feminine energy is everything we need in life to bring us back into balance in this intensely Masculine world. We need to be embracing the qualities of the Divine Feminine, regardless of gender, because it is these qualities which our World is desperately screaming out for…
Changeable; flexible; creative; natural; chaotic; soft; wise; intuitive; open; unpredictable; round; sensual; nurturing.
The Masculine and Feminine, as energies, are in a constant dance where they strive for cooperation, coordination and balance. The Masculine and Feminine resides within each of us – regardless of gender identity. It is symbolic of the Yin/Yang, hot/cold, night/day. What we need to recognise and embrace is the fact that we need both of these energies to thrive. No, they should not be in competition with one another – rather that we should always strive to see the beauty and value in each.
The Divine Feminine has historically been revered and cherished in ancient cultures which understood the Divine impotence of the Feminine energy and spirit. The Divine Feminine has been embodied in the form of Holy women (think Mother Mary), and Goddesses for centuries before us. As far as Goddesses go, Isis draws me closer to the Divine Feminine energy. I love everything she embodies and represents. Isis is the Goddess of Healing – which is exactly what we are all searching for on one level or another. Isis provides comfort for those in mourning, delivers strength and inspiration for those in need, and supports us to tap into our intuitive healing ability. What’s not to love about her!?!?! But what I value most about looking to these powerful Feminine figures, is that they act as reminders of what is real and true:
It is OK to experience grief; it is OK to mourn; it is OK to give birth and life; it is OK to express our emotions; it is OK to experience pleasure; we will get sick if we DON’T express our emotions; it is OK to be strong and soft at the same time; and it is NECESSARY to remain connected to the Source.
But today, rather than acknowledge the beauty in this Divine Feminine –and the exquisite intensity of it– we often see it all as too much. Too difficult to handle. Too messy. Qualities that should be tamed and tempered. This then affects all areas of our life:
Don’t show your emotions. DO NOT cry in particular!
Don’t change your mind – commit, stick to it.
Don’t get down or sad – you’ll swiftly be put on antidepressants.
Don’t feel anxious or worried – that’ll send you down the antidepressant rabbit hole as well.
Don’t listen to your body and rest when you’re tired – get moving! Get up, keep going, get to the gym you lazy thing!!!
Don’t age – Heavens no! Dress well, stay thin, get rid of those wrinkles.
Don’t eat chocolate because your period is due and you’re having a really difficult time – it will get you fat, ugly, and unlovable.
Don’t embrace pregnancy and motherhood – that equates to weight gain, cellulite, and looking like crap. Get that pre-baby body and energy levels back NOW!!
Think about how this relates to areas of pleasure in our life for a second – because this is where the Feminine is neglected the most… sexuality, sensuality, eating, joy, fun… It is in these (crazily important) areas of life that we are mostly encouraged (taught) to repress and suppress our instinctive desires and appetites.
Don’t have too much sex; don’t laugh too loud; don’t eat too much; don’t show too much flesh; don’t dance all night…
Is it really any wonder that we have emerging generations of young women who have no idea who they are, what they want, who they want to be, and how they can achieve it with integrity, self-love, self-compassion and intuition? Is it no wonder that our young men are crying out for help and trying desperately to find ways to be heard? Is it no wonder that those who choose not to identify with particular gender stereotypes are vilified?
With the loss of the Divine Feminine, we have lost our connection – to Nature, to Love, to Ourselves, and to the Source. Without acknowledging and embracing this Divine force, we effectively lose our Life Force – our zest for life and our understanding of what it truly means to be human.
So how do we begin to unlock the Divine Feminine in our lives? Here are some ideas to get you started:
• Rediscover your body wisdom – what is your body telling you? When you eat certain foods how do you feel? When you move in a certain way do you feel energised or depleted? When you associate with certain people do they uplift you or drain you? LISTEN… your body is the barometer to your soul. And most importantly, TRUST this body wisdom.
• Trust your intuition – your gut knows best! When you get that sinking feeling in your gut, the butterflies, the racing heart, the dry mouth, the sudden burst of energy or inspiration – this is intuition. Hear it, honour it, embrace it, and act accordingly.
• Own your emotions – they are ALL ok!! Happy, sad, excited, flat, tired, wired, emotional, stoic… whatever we are feeling, in that moment, it is important to feel it, be curious about it, not judge it, and then let it go. Accept the ebbs and flows of life, emotions and feelings, and embrace the uncertainty in your psyche and in your soul. It does not make you crazy or weird or difficult – it makes you perfectly human, who is here on a life-long journey of learning and self-discovery.
• Practice self-love – perform acts of self-kindness every day. This will be different for everyone – but it might involve going for a walk, patting your dog, getting your nails done, having a massage, eating your favourite food, chatting with an old friend, making time to read a book, watching some TV… whatever it is that brings pleasure, DO IT! Start small and slow, but inject some pleasure into your life every day.
• Go inside – see into your soul. Meditate, practice yoga, breathe, practice mindfulness, learn Tai Chi, take a walk on the sand… whatever it is that brings you to a state of calm, non-judgement, inner peace and self-exploration. These practices are what connects us to the Divine and brings us back to the Source.
• Affirm your love for yourself – practice self-compassion. The Divine Feminine doesn’t judge – so it is time that we stop being so damn judgey too. Affirmations, oracles, Guides, healing crystals, surrounding yourself with supportive people – this is where it’s at. We need to inject some loving positivity back into our lives and hearts.
Above all – become curious about the Divine Feminine and how you can incorporate it back into your life. Notice where it is already present, and recognise where it can be invited in. Because when we are open to the Divine, true healing can then follow.
Health & happiness – Lina x
*The information in this article is not a replacement for personalised advice, and is for general information purposes only. If you are experiencing challenges with body image, eating behaviour and/or your mental health, a private consultation with a qualified non-diet health practitioner is necessary. If you have found any of the content in this article triggering, please contact your local health care provider or support group.
**References are available upon request**
Copyright © 2018 NOURISH Mind + Body Nutrition
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